


Changed

by icandrawamoth



Series: Kinktober 2017 [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Sex, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Blow Jobs, Bottom Ben Solo, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Emotional Sex, Getting Back Together, Kinktober, Kinktober 2017, M/M, Making Up, POV Poe Dameron, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Reconciliation, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reunions, Top Poe Dameron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 21:51:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12262773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth
Summary: If you'd asked Poe whether he thought he'd ever have Ben Solo back in his bed again, he would have said no. After the other man took on a different name, slaughtered and tortured so many people, not the least of which himself, he never would have thought he'd want to.And yet. On that day when Rey had shown up at the Resistance base with a half-dead Kylo Ren in tow, muttering near-incoherently about how he regretted his choices and wanted to come back to the light, after Poe found out his own supposed master had given him those injuries...he hadn't known what to think.





	Changed

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kinktober day two prompt "dirty talk." Prepare for some of the most lowkey, romantic 'dirty talk' you've ever read, friends.

If you'd asked Poe whether he thought he'd ever have Ben Solo back in his bed again, he would have said no. After the other man took on a different name, slaughtered and tortured so many people, not the least of which was himself, he never would have thought he'd want to.

And yet. On that day when Rey had shown up at the Resistance base with a half-dead Kylo Ren in tow, muttering near-incoherently about how he regretted his choices and wanted to come back to the light, after Poe found out his own supposed master had given him those injuries...he hadn't known what to think. His mind had been torn, still full of anger and betrayal and mistrust, and yet his heart was different. Deep inside, he yearned for Ren's – _Ben's_ – words to be true, for the man he'd once known to come back to him.

The road to recovery had been long, the road to even a modicum of trust from members of the Resistance even longer. It was only the long talks Ben – for he'd chosen to take back his true name – had with Leia most days, the fact that his General vouched for her son, that made Poe even consider it.

And slowly, so slowly, the two of them had come back together. They hadn't even been able to speak at first, the gulf of experience and feeling between them so wide. But one day Ben had sat across from Poe in the commissary, downcast eyes never leaving his tray as he ate silently. Poe couldn't say anything then, but Ben was back the next day, this time with a quiet greeting before he ate his quiet meal.

It continued like that for awhile before Poe was finally able to force out a question, then another, clawing his way back to even the barest hint of a friendship with the man he'd once been closer to than anyone in the galaxy. He'd seen the sheer relief on Ben's face when he made that move, and it was what did him in – or maybe saved them both. As loath as he was to trust him again, Poe's heart still knew Ben's on some level, knew that this was real. Know that, perhaps, Poe himself could be yet another tether to the light for him, if they both wanted that.

They did, but it wasn't easy, even then. Ben was working through so much, and everyone knew it. As much as anyone else might judge him for the things he'd done, he hated himself more. He wasn't ready to jump back into a relationship, and Poe knew that. Honestly, he wasn't ready either.

But, over time, things settled to a kind of normalcy. They began to eat nearly all their meals together. They walked the halls together, talking honestly, sharing their feelings the way they used to. Ben whispered his pains and fears, and Poe reassured what he could, tried to help with the consequences of what he couldn't. Poe admitted the things he was still having a hard time letting go about Ben's time away from him, wincing at the very real pain the subject brought up in the younger man's eyes, but knowing they had to work through it just the same.

Finally, one day, months after his return, Ben was talking animatedly to him over lunch about one thing or another, and it was just so good to see him happy, Poe moved without thinking. One hand went to Ben's chin, tugging him for a light kiss.

Ben stopped dead, freezing in his hold, and Poe felt his blood turn to ice. Had he been wrong to do it? Should he have waited longer? Did Ben even...?

And then he felt the other man's lips curve just slightly as he brushed their mouths together again, briefly, before sitting back. His eyes landed shyly on the table, cheeks flushed just a bit. He was still happy.

Poe's heart fluttered, a nervous pleasure he hadn't felt since the first time he'd touched this man. It was another step, and it felt right. “You were saying?”

Ben glanced up at him with a little smile, still shy, and hesitantly started talking again. Though it didn't take him long to get going once more when he got into it.

Things continued like that, slowly, naturally. One day while they walked together, Ben took his hand. The next, Poe pecked his cheek as they parted for the night. They eased back into each other in a way that felt so right it surprised them both.

They haven't yet been intimate, though, and now that's what has Poe rubbing his hands nervously over his pants as he sits at a table watching Ben move through the line to get his food. Tonight is the night, or at least it will be if this goes well. He doesn't want to wait any longer, is eager to really know Ben again, be as close as they can be, flesh to flesh.

“Hey,” Ben says with a smile as he sits down across from him.

“Hey.” Poe's answering grin is more than genuine. He snakes a hand across the table to take one of Ben's in his own. “I've been thinking.” He can't wait, has to get it out right away.

“About what?”

“Spend the night with me,” Poe says breathlessly. “I want you to.”

Ben's mouth forms a little _o_ that's so adorable Poe just has to kiss it. When he lets him loose again, he breathes against his lips, “Say yes.”

“Yes.” Ben nods emphatically, clutching Poe's hand, his eyes wide and cheeks coloring. “Yes. Please.”

Poe grins, his heart starting to pick up speed. “Let's finish here then.” He gives his boyfriend a playful wink. “We may need our strength.”

That startles a laugh out of Ben, and he picks up his fork and goes to work. Poe watches him for a long moment, considering not for the first time how different the man before him is from the one he knew years ago. He's softer, sweeter, self-conscious in a way that never could have described the old Ben Solo. It's as if all that anger and hate burned through him and left him a little less fiery, a little less vibrant. Poe has asked himself if he misses that man, the one who was quick to anger, quick to mischief, all of his feelings so dangerously close to the surface, and finds that he doesn't. Ben is different now; that's all there is to it. Poe is, too. It's impossible for two people to go through so much and not come out changed.

Ben sees him staring and hesitates, a bite of food halfway to his mouth. “What are you looking at?”

It's so easy for Poe to smile at him. “Just you.”

Ben chews his lip for second, then eats the food, smiling around the mouthful.

Poe goes at his own meal, and they slip into conversation. Ben talks about his day, about the frustrations he's dealing with in trying to moderate his connection to the Force, afraid too much will lead him back toward the slippery path of the Dark Side. Poe listens raptly, murmuring encouraging, trusting words. He may not understand the things Ben goes through in this regard, but he believes that, having tasted that life once before and the havoc it wrought, Ben isn't going to go down that path again.

When it's his turn, Poe lightens the mood, explaining enthusiastically the thruster modifications he and the technicians have been trying to implement on some of his squadron's X-wings. It's going well, and even a small increase in speed is going to put them at an advantage over the First Order's ever-more-deadly TIE fighters.

The food on their plates disappears little by little. As the meal draws to a close, Poe notices Ben glancing up at him more and more frequently. The pilot smirks at him and draws a thumb across his knuckles; their hands haven't parted. “You almost ready to go?”

Ben pops the last bit of vegetable into his mouth. “Ready!”

“Well, all right then.” Poe steals a kiss before standing and taking both their trays to the return area. When he turns, Ben is right behind him. “Eager,” he teases, taking his hand again and tugging him toward the door.

“How can I not be,” Ben huffs, keeping pace.

“Don't worry,” Poe says roguishly. “I'll make it worth your while.”

The noise Ben makes at that can only be described as a squeak, and Poe laughs heartily, stopping just inside the corridor which houses the base's living quarters to press him against the wall and tackle his mouth.

After his initial gasp of surprise, Ben is eager beneath him, both arms wrapping tight around his waist as he presses up into the kiss. Poe tests the seal of his lips, and Ben lets him in without hesitation, both sharing a groan as their tongues touch. Poe steps close, one knee easing between Ben's, and before he has more than a second to take in the feel of growing hardness against his thigh-

Ben jerks his mouth away, gasping, a hand on Poe's chest, and he immediately steps back, a question on his tongue that Ben eases with a sly little smile before he can ask. “I think we should move this inside.”

Poe's grin springs back. “I think you're right.” He all but drags Ben down the hall toward his door, barely looking as he punches in the unlock code. “On the bed,” he urges once they're safely inside, and Ben follows the order without hesitation. Poe stalks across the room, throwing off every bit of clothing as he does, crawling onto the bed and kneeling beside Ben, one hand winding into his hair and pulling him in for another deep kiss.

Ben's hands flutter for a moment before landing on his bare hips. “Not...fair,” he says weakly when Poe lets him up.

Poe starts tugging at Ben's clothes in turn. “Let's get these off then,” he says, voice gone low and husky. “I want to see you.”

Ben obliges readily, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it to the floor, hands tangling with Poe's at they work together to pull his shirt over his head. They laugh breathlessly when it's away, ducking in for a passionate kiss before a hand on Ben's chest pushes him flat to the bed.

Poe pulls off his boots and socks then commands, “Hips.” Ben lifts them, allowing him to finally remove his pants and underwear. Poe can't suppress a groan when he sees the other man laid bare before him. “Gods, look at you,” he groans. “You're just as gorgeous as ever.”

“Poe...”

“Shh, let me. I didn't think I'd ever see you like this again, you know. And then when you came back, when it turned out that we... I've been waiting. I haven't been as patient as I meant to be.”

“Poe.” Ben's voice is more urgent now. He's trembling slightly. “Touch me.”

“My pleasure,” Poe says with relish and dives in. His lips close around Ben's hard length and he takes him as deep as he can, one hand diligently working what he can't quite manage. Above him, Ben cries out wordlessly, his whole body jerking in response. Poe's lips curve around him as he lets his eyes close, appreciating the weight of his lover on his tongue. It's something he's always enjoyed.

“Poe – I can't–” Ben pushes at him again, and this time Poe understands immediately. He sits up again, grinning down at him as he wipes the back of his hand across his mouth.

“Tell me what you want,” he says. “What do you want me to do to you, Ben?”

“I want you inside me,” Ben says, and the way he's so sure makes Poe's guts go hot.

“I want that too.” He pats his thigh. “Roll over for me.”

As he moves, Poe reaches into his bedside table and brings out the lube. When he looks back, Ben has his neck strained to look over his shoulder at him, eyes dark and hungry. That look only feeds Poe's own desire he he leans in to mouth at the juncture of neck and shoulder for a long moment, enjoying the way Ben sighs into it, before he leans back once again and uncaps the lube. Ben shudders at the sound.

Poe warms a good portion of lube in his hands, considering how to proceed. He wants to be so careful with Ben, but he also knows neither of them have the patience for extended foreplay tonight. _Next time_ , he promises himself, and he lays his hands on Ben. One finger circles his entrance, noting the way he tenses in anticipation, the soft lines of his body going taught, before relaxing fractionally, going rigid again as Poe's finger slides over his hole.

“Relax,” Poe murmurs. “I'm going to take good care of you.”

“I know.” Ben's voice is already wrecked.

Poe watches as Ben visibly lets his tension ebb away. Maybe he's tapping into that Force of his, or maybe it's sheer will. Poe doesn't know, but he's going to take full advantage of it. He dips one finger in, just to the first knuckle, testing, listens to Ben's sigh, hears no hesitation in it, no wordless instruction to stop. More lube, then, and he presses deeper, another finger added soon after, and he scissors them, Poe himself breathing harder as he feels his lover opening beneath his ministrations.

“You're so gorgeous like this,” he says lowly. “Look at way you take me in. Like you've been waiting for me.”

Ben whimpers.

“I'm here now,” Poe goes on, easing in a third finger, marveling at how easily Ben's body welcomes it. “Oh. There. You'll have all of me soon.”

“Please,” Ben whispers.

Poe doesn't answer, only stretches him just a bit more, needing to be absolutely certain he's ready before he moves on. Satisfied, he pulls out, watching as Ben's hole, empty, tries to squeeze in on nothing. Not empty for long, though.

He starts to move, to straddle his lover, when Ben says suddenly, “Wait.” Poe freezes, waits. Ben blinks up at him, face flushed as he says, “I want to see you.”

“You should've said that earlier.” Poe smiles down at him as he helps him turn over, then takes a pillow from the headboard to prop under his hips. “Are you ready?” Ben nods eagerly, and it's a last swipe of lube over his own cock before Poe takes his place between his knees and slides home.

They gasp together, the first feel of it after so long overwhelming. Poe locks eyes with Ben, watches the way his eyes slide shut as his head tips back, mouth open on a sound long gone silent. A trembling hand reaches out, touches his face. “I've always loved the way you look when we're like this,” Poe murmurs, reverent. “Like it's all too much for you.” Ben leans into the touch, lets out a shaky little sound. “But I know it isn't. I know I can make you feel more pleasure than you can imagine. I know I've done it before.”

“And you'll do it again,” Ben breathes, warm against Poe's hand, and that's when he moves, pulling out and rocking them together again, a wave of pleasure through them both. Ben's hands clutch his arms, not stopping him this time, but grounding himself further in Poe. It would be strange, how well they fit together after everything, after all this time, but it still feels so natural, so right. Right now they can barely even be said to be Poe Dameron and Ben Solo, but merely two beings taking from and giving perfect pleasure to each other.

“Touch me,” Ben breathes after an indefinite amount of time, and Poe reaches between them, puts practiced fingers to work. Soon Ben is shuddering under him, the little whimpers and cries falling from his lips letting Poe know he's close. He shifts his angle just so and – _there_ – Ben lets out a sob, clawing at Poe's arms, legs tangling with his own, trying to pulling him impossibly closer. “Again,” he gasps. “Like that!”

Poe speeds his thrusts, hits his prostate every time with the same pinpoint accuracy that makes him so famous in the cockpit. Ben can't last under the intensity of it. Moments later, he comes hard, moaning brokenly, squeezing tight around Poe and dragging him over the edge with him.

Poe loses track of everything for long seconds as his body is wracked with pleasure. When he comes to, he's lying on the bed next to Ben, who's looking down at him with a dopey smile. “That was...” he tries, still breathing hard.

Poe grins and, with effort, pushes himself up on his elbows for a kiss. “Amazing,” he supplies. “You're welcome.”

Ben laughs, and even after everything else, it's perhaps the sweetest sound Poe has heard him make.

“Seriously, though.” Poe's palm finds his cheek again, encourages him to meet his eyes. “I've missed that. I really have.”

“Me, too,” Ben admits, looking away shyly. He reaches for Poe's hand, pushes their fingers together until there's no space in between. “Not just the sex, either. Just being close to someone. Over there...it was never like this with anyone. Not even close.”

Poe pushes the assuaged jealously to the back of his mind, because he can tell that's not what Ben really means. “You didn't exactly have any friends among the First Order.” It isn't a question.

“No.” Ben swallows, looks up at him again.

“Well, you're back with the good guys now. You're never going to be alone again.”

Ben's smile when he hears that is heartbreaking and perfect.


End file.
